Articles
Thoughts on Counseling and Therapy
Choosing Your Hard
I wish I could take credit for the saying "Choose Your Hard" but I can’t. It was said to me in a session a few months ago and I have been using the simple reality since. Daily we are faced with choices and decisions that are uncomfortable, a nuisance, painful and yet...
The Essential Nothing
"It's all a blur." That's what I say when asked how I did it. While raising six children aged seven to seventeen, husband in a job with a 3-hour daily commute time, and experiencing my long-time dream to become a teacher, there was little time to spare. And although...
In This Moment, There is Plenty of Time
When I was teaching engineering students at Western Michigan University, I did an exercise midway through the semester where students had to move from one side of the room to another based on agreeing or disagreeing with the provided statement. It was an exercise in...
Overcoming Scary Movies through Mindful Awareness
In my last article I talked about using mindfulness to expand the tennis ball in the pool or the whale in the ocean. This is one form of resilience. Creating more space between us and our stress is helpful – but not always possible. I stumbled on Bird Box this week....
Seeing Stress in Perspective
A few days ago, a client was telling me about having an especially challenging week; the kind where her toddler was more difficult than usual, work threw in some surprise stress, and managing the household was a struggle. She felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and alone....
Why Won’t My Partner Read My Mind?
"I want him to read my mind." Of course, she knew this was impossible, but she was being completely honest. That is what she wanted. Her husband’s eyes widened, recognizing he was just set up for failure in his marriage. This conversation happened ten years ago,...
S A D and the Dead of Winter
It started last week… Over the years I have noticed that there are three or four weeks every winter when people seem to feel extraordinarily low; and we are now in the midst of them. During the last couple of weeks of January folks always start to come into my office...
The Only Cure for Grief is Action
Over the years, as a Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist, I have heard many stories about all kinds of dads – some wonderful, some absent, some mediocre, some abusive. As a daughter, I know I have never stopped longing for my dad’s approval. I truly...
What Parents Need to Remember when their Kids are Coping with Divorce or Separation
Divorce and/or separation is one of the most challenging things for families to navigate as life for everyone drastically changes. Its important that no matter the circumstances surrounding the divorce or separation, that we keep in mind what children are going...
Signs that You May Be in an Enmeshed Relationship
To me, nothing is better on a Friday night than a nice drive, rolling the car windows down, and playing music. The other day on my ride home, I turned on my jazz playlist to an overwhelming volume, put the car in drive, and began filling the cabin with new, fall air....