Articles
Thoughts on Counseling and Therapy
A Closer Look at Problematic Sexual Behaviors
What is problematic sexual behavior? As humans, we are sexual beings by nature. And for many people, this is an enjoyable thing. But for some, this is a bigger issue that they struggle with daily. While some people can have healthy sexual relationships, others...
The Crisis of an Affair: Help for the Betrayer
“I said I’m sorry so many times. She knows everything but she keeps on bringing up the same stuff over and over. Why can’t we just move forward? What is the point in bringing up what I did over and over? Is she going to be like this forever?” In the immediate...
The Crisis of an Affair: Help for the Betrayed
You have just discovered your partner’s unfaithfulness. Your world as you have known it has come crashing down around you. The explosion of emotion is intense. Your reactions will range from frozen in shock, to crazed with anger or even jumping into action to regain...
Another Look at Craft Beer
The craft beer market has exploded. It has helped revitalize the Greater Grand Rapids area, and we are known as “Beer City”. In fact, there are 43 breweries in the Greater Grand Rapids area, five cideries, seven distilleries and two meaderies. But let’s just focus on...
Choosing Your Hard
I wish I could take credit for the saying "Choose Your Hard" but I can’t. It was said to me in a session a few months ago and I have been using the simple reality since. Daily we are faced with choices and decisions that are uncomfortable, a nuisance, painful and yet...
The Essential Nothing
"It's all a blur." That's what I say when asked how I did it. While raising six children aged seven to seventeen, husband in a job with a 3-hour daily commute time, and experiencing my long-time dream to become a teacher, there was little time to spare. And although...
In This Moment, There is Plenty of Time
When I was teaching engineering students at Western Michigan University, I did an exercise midway through the semester where students had to move from one side of the room to another based on agreeing or disagreeing with the provided statement. It was an exercise in...
Overcoming Scary Movies through Mindful Awareness
In my last article I talked about using mindfulness to expand the tennis ball in the pool or the whale in the ocean. This is one form of resilience. Creating more space between us and our stress is helpful – but not always possible. I stumbled on Bird Box this week....
Seeing Stress in Perspective
A few days ago, a client was telling me about having an especially challenging week; the kind where her toddler was more difficult than usual, work threw in some surprise stress, and managing the household was a struggle. She felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and alone....
Why Won’t My Partner Read My Mind?
"I want him to read my mind." Of course, she knew this was impossible, but she was being completely honest. That is what she wanted. Her husband’s eyes widened, recognizing he was just set up for failure in his marriage. This conversation happened ten years ago,...