Articles
Thoughts on Counseling and TherapySummer, a Good Time to Balance
The idea of summer brings many things to mind – backyards, bbqs, beaches, iced tea on the porch and days spent relaxing with family and friends. What summer doesn’t remind us of all that much is work, but, in a way, the play that summer involves is intimately...
Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 3
The truth about conflict avoidance is that it is not honest. In order to avoid conflict a person must essentially lie. They say “Yes” when they really mean “No.” They say “No” when they really mean “Yes.” They leave something out of what they are saying because they...
Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 2
We all know that disagreements between partners are common. Whether they are big issues or little issues the potential for disagreement is a common part of any couple trying to work together or get along. When a potential disagreement arises we always have a choice to...
Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship
Most couples coming into therapy identify “communication” as the main issue that caused them to call. We’re so used to the word that we forget what a complicated and fragile thing communication is. Because so many factors create communication, there are just as many...
A Happy Couple’s Arithmetic: O+I=R
O+I=R This simple equation explains what we need to experience a thriving, dynamic relationship. O stands for OBSERVATION Observation is a crucial aspect of any partner’s effectiveness in a relationship. Observation is how we know what’s going on. Without observation...
Take Your Relationship to the Next Level
People often seem shocked when I tell them that all couples can benefit from counseling. I think that response comes from the idea that marriage counseling is only for helping couples get through a crisis. It’s not. The research has shown us that couples tend to make...
5 Ways to Guide Teens through Risk Taking
Teenagers fall in love, and they make love. They smoke pot and cigarettes. They drink alcohol. And most of this is behind their parents backs because they’ve been warned, “You better never…” When parents communicate with threats, the message translates to, “You better...
Prince Charmings, Darling Princesses, and the Pitfalls of Expectations in Relationships
When many of us commit to another we truly believe we have found our Prince Charming or Darling Princess. Why else would we want to be with them if not because we believe we're going to live happily ever after with our mate? Your other half will make you happy, meet...
Creating a Healthy Check Valve for Emotional Energy
Feelings are energy. When you are angry, you have negative energy. Happiness is positive energy. People are the containers for their feelings, like a pressure cooker contains steam. When we experiences events in our lives that create intense emotions, we often becomes...
Holiday Daze: Understanding the Stress of the Season
We all wish our winter holidays to be a time for celebrating, happiness, thankfulness, and togetherness. By October, we've started to form expectations - fantasies about gifts, family, and friends. But often those aren't met. We'll feel resentful, hurt, and...