Part of the Better Sex Series
We read article after article. We talk to our friends, our coworkers, our therapist. We download apps and purchase games. We shop for outfits. We want to know how to be more attractive, more appealing, more sexy. We want our partner to crave us. We want to feel closer to them.
We want him to eye us like he did when we first met.
We want her to surprise us with an invitation.
Everywhere, couples and singles are looking for ways to spice up the bedroom, increase their intimacy, and deepen their connection. We look everywhere externally for the answer only to find that nothing seems to make a long-lasting change. We may get small victories – keeping the light on, exploring new techniques, making time without scheduling it – but these are short-lived and soon we are back to our old ways.
Small victories will stay small if we only look outside of ourselves. Sexy comes from within – and so does everything connected to it. Want more intimacy? More connection? More pleasure? More adventure? It’s time to educate yourself in a new way. Do more of what works and less of what doesn’t.
The Better Sex Series will help you learn how to have good sex by exploring yourself. It’ll explain how arousal and desire work. It’ll talk about the impact of stress and anxiety on your sex drive. It’ll explore how we hold trauma in our body and what to do about it. It’ll help you learn how to ask for sex, how to say no, and how to accept rejection in a way that will bring you closer instead of pushing you farther. It’ll teach you more about why sex is such an important part of a loving relationship – and what to do if you aren’t as excited about it as you want to be.
Where to start? Dr. John Gottman, renowned couples therapist, would say that every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay. So when we talk about sex, we’re talking about intercourse, cuddling, kissing, cleaning… we’re even talking about the way we talk! So let’s get talking.