I wish I could take credit for the saying “Choose Your Hard” but I can’t. It was said to me in a session a few months ago and I have been using the simple reality since. Daily we are faced with choices and decisions that are uncomfortable, a nuisance, painful and yet ultimately HARD!
Work, bills, relationships, parenting, marriages, divorces…these are the big issues we must and may contend with throughout our lives. What about the daily difficulties like the orange-coned commutes, what to make for dinner, healthy eating, Tide or Gain, Pepsi or Coke, gluten free, free range, lactose free, boxers or briefs? The list is endless and many people get stuck wondering what to do, how to get it done, and did I pick the right choice? Regardless, it’s hard and our options are never-ending.
It’s hard to pay my mortgage yet harder to be homeless. It’s hard to eat for a healthy weight yet hard to be unhealthy and overweight. It’s hard to exercise consistently and hard to be out of breath walking up the stairs. It’s hard to be in therapy and hard to do nothing. Being a consistent parent is difficult yet dealing with a chaotic home is hard for parents and their children.
As humans we like to avoid pain. If we touch the hot stove one time we tend to avoid it the next time. This gets tricky when we try to avoid painful decisions. The reality is we are faced with painful decisions as a part of life. We are not taught to embrace the discomfort but are trained to escape it. This often creates more distress and soon we are either spinning our wheels, running in circles or feeling “stuck” because we are not moving into the discomfort. Growth is painful. Remember the growing pains you experienced? It’s simple at the core, pain is another sensation. How we choose to define our pain makes all the difference in how we work through it.
Think of all your greatest accomplishments and my guess would be that you were faced with hard decisions that may or may not have been made for you by natural consequences. You can do this, you have always figured it out and it will not last forever. Trust the process and trust yourself! Which hard are you going to choose? Which hard do you want?