Content Warning: The following article includes topics and scenarios of domestic violence and/or abuse. The intention of this content is to bring awareness to different types of behavior and/or patterns that may be present in relationships.
As a therapist who works with survivors of abuse and assault, part of my passion is spreading awareness and educating those in our society about domestic violence and sexual abuse. Domestic Violence Awareness Month, also known as DVAM, is held every year during the month of October. While awareness, education, and support should take place throughout the year, DVAM gives us all a chance to raise awareness and engage in conversations that we might not otherwise discuss.
What might a healthy relationship look like?
Three of the biggest indicators of a healthy relationship are trust, communication, and respect. Now, some might say that it takes time to build trust and/or respect someone or that healthy communication takes time to form. This is true, yes. But the goal, in any relationship, is for there to be trust, communication, and respect. With this also comes honesty. Another sign of a healthy relationship is consent, more specifically, sexual consent. Are the both of you consenting to this relationship? Have you and your partner engaged in conversations about what you want your relationship to look like? Are you having open, honest, and safe conversations about intimacy and sex? Some other indicators of a healthy relationship are equality. What does equality look like? In a healthy relationship, it could look like you and your partner communicating about things and making decisions together. Does it feel like each of your voices are equally heard? Is there pressure to make a decision that your partner wants? Do you value one another’s thoughts and/or opinions when engaging in conversations?
What might an abusive relationship look like?
In my experience with victims and survivors, a key indicator of an abusive relationship is safety. Are you physically safe? Do you feel safe in the relationship? Is there a sense of fear? Some other common behaviors and/or patterns that might be present in an abusive relationship is physical, emotional, or mental abuse. Experiencing any one of these types of abuse could also play a role in one’s safety. If your partner is physically abusive, you might not feel safe physically. Often times, survivors will say that mental and/or emotional abuse causes them to lose trust in reality or their own thoughts. Furthermore, one might also notice a change in communication. Is your partner communicating with you in a hurtful and/or disrespectful way? Does communication feel one-sided? Does it feel like your partner speaks to you in a way that is degrading? Often times, if communication becomes negative towards one another, trust and support within a relationship is affected as well. Is there trust and honesty between you and your partner? Do you feel genuine support from your partner?
I want to emphasize that although I frequently used the words “partner,” these signs and indicators in a relationship can be applied to any type of relationship. For example, a relationship with a friend or a family member.
Lastly, I encourage you to share this with those that you may have concern for. Or maybe this information is to be used within your own personal life. Use this to spark conversation.
If you or someone you know is seeking support, GR Therapy Group has therapists available that would be honored to guide you through your healing journey. Our therapists are typically able to schedule your first appointment within 1-2 weeks. If you’re interested in finding out more information on the services we provide, or would like to be matched with a therapist to get started, call our office at 616-591-9000.